Jack and Victor: together again, for the first time! The problem is Jack's having problems with his neighbours, and Victor's neighbour rolls over and joins the choir invisible. Will the DHSS listen to Robbie Burns, or will our heroes be kept apart? And as for What the Vicar saw...

Victor is awaiting a visit from his son John who now lives in Johannesburg. But when John leaves a message on Victor's answering machine, a crucial part of the message is inaudible due to background noise. Jack and Victor set out to discover what it says with help from their friend Shug who has an acute sense of hearing. Meanwhile, Winston gets injured in a fight with Peggy at the butchers over who gets the gigot chops.

Winter arrives in Craiglang with a vengeance. Jack and Victor find an old friend of theirs drops dead of the cold - is it time to take part in Winston's nerfarious scheme to steal 'leccy?

Jack realises how long it's been since his wife died and starts to find new love with a lovely woman in the city centre. But to win the fair lady's heart, a double date is in order. What will Victor do when he sees Barbara's sister, and what will he do when it turns out that all isn't as it seems with Barbara?

Navid is giving out invitations to what promises to be the wedding of the year in Craiglang. They're as rare and desired as Willy Wonka's golden tickets - so why don't Jack and Victor have one? And what are they to do when an old friend - and notorious tapper - 'dies', and the chance to slip back a few items presents itself?

Tam, the tapping king of Craiglang, has fallen on his feet with his latest win: a lifetime's free supply of film tickets and confectionary. Not to be outdone, our boys set out to win a slogan competition. Meanwhile, an old face from Isa's past returns...

The Neds have colonised the local park and Jack and Victor aren't happy about it. Winston decides to take matters into his own hands. Things aren't helped by the fact that their old pal Ronnie is in the loony bin, so they pose as his brothers to secure his release. But will they make it in time, and will auld Ronnie be up to the challenge of sanity?

Winston, a lifetime expert at fiddling the DHSS, takes his game one step-up, in the form of pretty home-helper Mrs. Begg . Our boys are quickly smitten. But can Winston keep up the pretence for long? Meanwhile, Jack and Victor now got their newly-widowed friend, Bert Finlay, to worry about. He's not managing: he walks around town like a jakie and can't even boil an egg for himself. A situation horribly familiar to both the boys, they decide to make sure to do right by their old friend before it's too late.

Winston and Tam become love rivals over a gentle, lovely lady at the local library. But which one will win the fair lady's heart? Meanwhile, Jack and Victor are feeling depressed, and there's a new drug on trial at the health centre. They rehearse their scripts for when they get there to convince the doctor, but Jack's 'I'm depressed' face looks more like 'I'm constipated'.

Jack and Victor club together to out-bid Manky Franky to win themselves Danny's old motor. But their new freedom comes at a price, and will Tam, at long last, finally get his come-uppance?

Craiglang has never had it so good; everyone's suddenly come into money. There's rumours of a money-dealer newly arrived in Craiglang. Even Jack and Victor decide to get in on the action by buying stock market shares from Navid at the corner shop. Winston and Tam renew their feud with the local Neds, and decide the only way to solve things is to challenge them to a championship gold tournament: winner takes course!

The workies on the new building site are generating a lot of money for Craiglang's local economy - all of it flowing into the dubious hands of Vince Gallagher the Clydeside poisoner! Winston has a plan to take things into his own hands. With a major boost of Navid's shop being free while he's away on holiday, a turf war begins. There can be only one winner.

After an unusually expensive meal, Jack and Victor decide to take a literal trip down memory lane, when they visit a new exhibition in the city centre dedicated to the Glasgow of their childhood. They meet an old friend, Frank McCallum. But is he all that he appears to be?

Navid finds Pete 'the Jakey', Craiglang's answer to Barny Gumball, has been letting himself go, lately. It seems he's been going through the shopkeeper's rubbish for food. Is it, in fact, a giant rat, or is Pete plumbing every further depths of scabbydom? But soon he's seen in The Clansman clean-shaven and wearing a brand new suit. Has someone died, or is Pete suddenly involved in top-secret affairs of the state?

Isa's unwelcome husband returns once more. Jack and Victor have a major falling-out: Victor's son John is as distant and uncaring as ever, while Jack has warm tears in his eyes when his daughter Mary in Canada sends him a video tape of her and the weans. Things are compounded when Jack is invited to fly out to Canada to visit. Will Victor end up on the plane, or have our boys finally had enough of one another? And Winston agrees to pose as Isa's fiancé in order to ward off her husband - but how far is he willing to go to maintain the illusion?

Jack and Victor kick off series 3 in an opening episode that picks up where the last episode of series 2 left off - the boys are flying to Canada to visit Jack's family. The boys are having a time of it - with a belated dose of jetlag - and take in the marvels of Gutbusters, Niagra Falls, Ice Hockey and tacky souvenirs. Soon the time looms for them to come home - or is it? And, back in Craiglang, there's a new man in Isa's life...

Jack and Vic feel their lives have become routine to the point of redundancy. Does salvation lie in Glasgow University's course in Medicial Proficiency, or will the lure of a 75p pint be too much? Meanwhile, Boaby's losing customers and can't get his hole in a barrel of fannies. Can a quiz night and a lovely new barmaid be the answer to both problems?

Boaby bars Jack & Vic & Co. from the Clansman. Turning Osprey Heights into a mini Las Vegas, Tam wins Joe's motor-wheelchair. However, plans are afoot to win it back, while Winston's feud with the bookies reaches a hilarious climax...

The Neds (hooligans) begin a reign of terror in Craigland. Jack and Victor contact an old friend to come to town and take matters in his giant-sized hands. If they can just keep him away from the Miduri... Meanwhile, Winston's taking up a valued place at the local supermarket and suddenly finds that Craiglang has become a fair model for Sing Sing...

Archie (Sylvester McCoy), an old friend of J & V's, finally has to leave the place where he has been secluded for nearly half a century, never going outside. Now the council are knocking his place down, but are Jack and Victor the best guides to the new century? Winston is experimenting with turning his house into a cinema. Looks like the Towering Inferno's on at Osprey Heights...

For once Winston's complaint to the social office is genuine, and now has a foot that can stun even the most heartless of people into abject silence. Meanwhile, Jack devises a scheme to finally get the attention of his estranged son in Johannesburg. But things go wrong when he actually turns up to see his 'sick' father. Will things come to a climax, or will father and son remain more distant than ever?

Jack and Victor aren't sure what to make of it when one of their pals takes up with a woman half his age.

Jack and Victor take up residence in the hospital as DJs. Navid, however, is about to encounter a more pressing problem.

Jack and Victor succumb to the lure of the Dial-A-Bus, but this one doesn't stop where they expected.

Tam finally does the decent thing. He doesn't buy a pint; he decides to get married.

Jack and Victor are fed up of Isa's constant prying, but the plan they hatch causes shock waves across Craiglang.

A story involving three men and a baby. The trouble is, the baby wants to knock down the Clansman Bar.

Pub-loving pensioners Jack and Victor are set for a headache, as the hit Scottish comedy returns.In the first of a new six-part series, the adventurous oldies risk the mother of all hangovers when they win a trip to a posh whisky distillery, complete with an endless supply of free samples. And fellow OAP Winston looks like losing out to old enemy Stevie the bookie - until racing expert John McCririck arrives to give him a few betting tips.

When Jack and Victor volunteer to redecorate Isa's living room the alterations go a lot further than planned. Meanwhile Boabby's video collection contain a guilty secret.

Jack arranges a birthday surprise for Victor's 75th - a trip down the river in an inflatable dinghy. The duo are joined on their voyage by Winston, but the relaxing pleasure cruise soon turns into a nightmare.

The television crew which makes Blighty's Hardest Pubs drops by The Clansman and Bobby foolishly promises them all the action they can handle.

Winston's had enough of Craiglang and decides he wants to live beside the seaside. Jack and Victor become wedding chauffeurs for the day.

Jack and Victor decide to visit Winston in his new home at the seaside town of Finport - but find the local people are even stranger than those in Craiglang. Tam falls in love with his ex-sister-in-law, a former variety star even more careful with her money than he is.

Craiglang is in the grip of a hot spell. Jack and Victor have found the perfect place to relax in the park on the ultimate bench. Unfortunately, Tam and Winston have the same idea. Isa receives news about her ex husband Harry that changes her life.

Jack and Victor get a taste of how the other half live when they are mistaken for two socialites by a couple of rich widows. But the gang from Craiglang are not happy at missing out.

Craiglang is plunged into eternal darkness when the sub station goes on the blink. Our vulnerable pensioners are to take radical measures to protect themselves from the night crawlers.

Boabby the barman and Stevie the bookie vie for the attention of the new pizza girl. Jack and Victor are hell bent on getting a free pizza now that their old pal Winston works there.

Navid's business is suffering at the hands of the corporate giant Hyperdales and his regular customers loyalty is being put to the test. Meanwhile, Tam is going through some bizarre changes. The drinks are on him!

Jack and Victor discover Pete the Jakey was the inventor of The famous Beefy bake and seek recompense on his behalf. Tam and Frances are having marital problems. Who can offer counsel, Navid?

Tam and Frances enjoy fame and fortune with their new addition but it means baby sitting stints for Jack and Victor which is proving a bit of a strain.

Craiglang's residents can't resist the temptation of the Futuroo catalogue. Meanwhile, Winston prepares for the arrival of his brother, Walter, and Jack needs help after having a long bath.

Jack and Victor discover bootleg hooch all over Craiglang. But where is it coming from?

Jack and Victor offer a helping hand to Methadone Mick.

Navid and Boabby settle a dispute over whose job is the cushiest.

Jack and Victor decide to become dog sitters and enlist the help of computer-savvy Isa to register them on the 'Pets Home From Home' website. Meanwhile Isa limbers up for the Craiglang Bake Off and locks whisks with local cake rival, Peggy. Utterly determined to beat the reigning baking champion, Isa strong-arms her pals into becoming reluctant cake-tasting guinea pigs.

Emotions run high as Jack, Victor and the residents gather to watch the demolition of a Craiglang tower block, Tam drags Winston into a new moneymaking scheme, and Jack and Victor are enticed by Mrs Fletcher, the beguiling manager of the local care home.

Everyone is displaced as Winston needs a place to stay and the Clansman regulars are turfed out. Isa wants to know who is throwing her a surprise birthday party.

A creepy new undertaker moves into Craiglang. As Isa spreads gossip he's the grim reaper, the residents become spooked - but what is he really up to?

Jack and Victor gather a team for the walking football tournament. They absolutely must win, but will they be match-fit or have to employ other tactics?

Jack and Victor persuade Navid to lend them his caravan for one night only, but end up spending most of their precious time tracking down an unwanted guest.

The future is here as Navid shows off his new scanner, Tam befriends an older woman and Jack and Victor must get their hands on the last steak pie in the butcher's shop.

Isa's pulse is set racing as a long-lost companion returns. Boabby attempts to learn to drive, and Methadone Mick enrols in a mysterious online course.

Winston saves the day by thwarting a mugger and becomes an internet sensation. Meanwhile, Jack and Victor have one mix up too many and decide it's time to get mobile phones.

Twilight Monthly magazine needs a new cover star and Victor is convinced he's the man for the job. Meanwhile, Winston battles with a neighbour to win a stray cat's affections.

Winston receives wounding news about his remaining leg. Meanwhile, Isa struggles with her new cleaning job at the undertaker's and Tam pushes his skinflintishness to new depths

In the second of this double-bill, a trip to the cinema ends up creating a mystery for Jack and Victor and the gang. Meanwhile Boabby has discovered internet dating and encourages Winston to try it too

Love is in the air as the gang rally together to create an unforgettable wedding day for one of the pals.

Isa gets into a fix with some animals, while Jack & Victor decide to go on that adventure.